Dear Abby: Mother should stop trying to reach son who ignores her

SHARE Dear Abby: Mother should stop trying to reach son who ignores her

DEAR ABBY: My 34-year-old, single, independent son completely ignores me. He won't answer texts, emails, postal mail or phone calls. Weeks and months go by with no meaningful conversation between us. I am sick of it, and tired of being treated so disrespectfully. I thought I had raised my son to be more thoughtful of others, especially his mother.I'm ready to put an end to my misery by ignoring him back and "forgetting" holidays. That may not seem motherly, but I'm weary of trying to get him to be more responsive. Any suggestions? — IGNORED MOM IN ATLANTADEAR IGNORED MOM: I don't know how often you have been calling, emailing, texting and writing to your son, but from what you have written, it might be a relief to both of you if you stop — at least for a while. If he notices the silence and reaches out, you can discuss the reason for it then. However, if he doesn't, you will have to accept that for whatever reason, this is the way he wants it. And if that's the case, it is important that you concentrate on your relationships with friends and other family members (if there are any) and activities that bring you happiness because, clearly, your relationship with your son does not. DEAR ABBY: My daughter just got engaged and is beginning to plan her wedding. Her fiance has been married before, but she hasn't. She wants a band at the reception and he wants a D.J. (which he had at his first wedding). My husband is paying for the entire affair, and he and I support our daughter in this. I know this seems like a small thing, but her fiance is really digging in his heels. Would it be wrong for her to pull the "this is my one and only wedding" card? This fight seems ridiculous to us. What do you think? — PARENTS OF THE BRIDEDEAR PARENTS: I'm glad you asked. I think that if your daughter goes that route, it may not be her one and only wedding. And I urge you and your husband to stay out of it and let the two lovebirds resolve this for themselves.DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are retired, so we both contribute to household chores. There are no rules as to who does what, but somehow everything gets done.The disagreement we're having relates to laundry. When I do it, the last steps are: Remove the clothes from the dryer, place them on top, then sort, fold and put away. My wife claims that taking the clothes out of the dryer and placing them on top creates wrinkles, and what I really need to do is take one item out of the dryer, fold it, and then repeat until the dryer is empty, sorting as I go. I maintain that this does not seem logical. There is no data to back her claim, and all it does is make extra work for me. I would appreciate your thoughts.— FLUFF AND FOLDDEAR F AND F: When clothes are removed from the dryer and tossed in a pile, wrinkles can set in. However, if the garments are removed individually and then folded or hung up, they remain wrinkle-free. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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