8 cereals for Chicago sports figures that should totally exist

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Why buy these cereals when you could buy one with Kris Bryant’s face on the box? | Mike Nolan/Sun-Times Media

If you’ve ever walked through the aisles of a Chicago-area grocery store over the past couple years, there’s a good chance you’ve seen Keith Krunch or Rizz’Os. The cereals by PLB Sports don the likenesses of Blackhawks defenseman Duncan Keith and Cubs first baseman Anthony Rizzo, respectively, because if there’s anything people love with their sports, it’s cereal. Obviously.

So in honor of National Cereal Day, a holiday that deserves the utmost respect, here are a bunch of other Chicago athlete-related cereals that should totally be found at Mariano’s soon. Breakfast will never be the same.

Lauri Charms

Turns out there’s actually a very tall Finnish basketball player, not a leprechaun, at the end of the rainbow.

Cinnamon Toewst Crunch

Imagine the leadership in this cereal. This is the kind of cereal you’d want to build a breakfast around. You’d be a captain yourself in no time.

Mitcheerio’s

They’re basically just Rizz’Os but if Mitchell Trubisky can be the football equivalent of Anthony Rizzo, that would be an acceptable outcome.

Apple Jordans

This is Chicago so we’ll just slap a picture of Michael Jordan next to Jordan Howard to really emphasize the Jordans aspect of the cereal.

Crisp Bryant 

With this cereal, your breakfast would truly be a … home run. Okay maybe we’ll workshop that one a bit.

Cereal Delmonicocoa

This is an extremely high-end chocolate cereal using only the highest quality dark cocoa nibs. That’s why the name sounds like a bistro in Logan Square.

Q-kie Crisp

This cereal will scold you if you don’t enjoy it.

Frosted Floyd Flakes

Leonard Floyd is way more exciting than a bowl of frosted flakes but you can’t win them all.


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