Dear Abby: My boyfriend’s annoyed by my 6-year-old son

SHARE Dear Abby: My boyfriend’s annoyed by my 6-year-old son

DEAR ABBY: I have a 6-year-old son, “Tyler,” from a previous relationship. I have been dating a man I’ll call Chad for almost four years.

My problem is, Chad can’t seem to have any kind of relationship or interaction with Tyler. Chad isn’t abusive, but he constantly ignores my boy and gives him no attention.

I thought after all this time Chad would be used to my son, but it hasn’t happened. Sometimes he seems annoyed when Tyler is in the same room.

I’m not sure if I should end the relationship or stick around. Any advice would be helpful. — LOSING HOPE

DEAR LOSING HOPE: Your first responsibility is to your son. The way Chad treats Tyler will eventually damage the boy’s self-esteem if it hasn’t already.

Children are perceptive. When they are ignored, they know something is wrong and think it’s their fault — that there’s something wrong with them and that they don’t measure up.

My advice is to tell Chad the romance is over and why. Frankly, you should have done it years ago.


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DEAR ABBY: My son’s girlfriend confided to me that my son, age 35, is cross-dressing. I knew his life was in flux and that his appearance had changed, but it stunned me.

He hasn’t mentioned anything, and she said he would be very upset if I knew.

When I saw him the same day, I made sure to hug him and tell him I love him. Please tell me what to do or say. — WHAT TO SAY IN TEXAS

DEAR WHAT: Do nothing, say nothing. This isn’t your business, and the girlfriend was wrong to betray your son’s confidence.

It may reassure you to know that cross-dressing has been around for centuries and has been present in many cultures. Your son isn’t the only cross-dresser in the United States or even the state of Texas.

Most male cross-dressers are heterosexual and do it because it feels good to them. It is no reflection on their morals, their sexual orientation or their gender identity.

DEAR ABBY: I admit I’m a loud snorer. However, I was on a plane recently, flying home after an exhausting trip. I fell asleep and my seatmate repeatedly woke me to complain about my snoring.

Shouldn’t the woman have let me sleep in peace if she saw that I was genuinely tired? What made her needs greater than mine? — TRYING TO SLEEP

DEAR TRYING TO SLEEP: Not knowing the woman, it’s hard to say. Perhaps your seatmate felt entitled to a quiet flight and your snoring was so disruptive that, even with earphones, she could concentrate on nothing else.

I suppose she could have asked the flight attendant to change her seat, but if the flight was fully booked she probably woke you because she wasn’t inclined to suffer from coast to coast.

P.S. I would be remiss in my responsibility as an advice columnist if I didn’t urge you to discuss your snoring with your doctor. It could be a symptom of sleep apnea, a condition that is very serious.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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