The Bears-Packers rivalry is hailed far and wide as a great one, but let’s be honest: It’s a total dud. Has been for going on three decades. And it’s all the Bears’ fault, of course. They’ve lost a sick, twisted, incredible 43 times in their last 56 meetings in the series. An empty water bottle in the street has a better chance against a cement truck.
But you know what? The Bears aren’t alone. Not when it comes to repeated, prolonged rivalry humiliation — and not on Sunday.
Take the Raiders, who visit the Chiefs. These franchises have hated each other since the 1960s, but one side has had pretty much all the fun for as long as the Packers have been beating up on the Bears. The Chiefs were 18-3 against the Raiders in the 1990s, are 45-19 since the start of that decade and enter Sunday on a 15-3 head-to-head tear.
Or take the Browns, who host the Ravens. New Browns vs. Old Browns, right? You don’t need us to tell you which Browns have lost 23 of the last 27 heads-up.
Or take Washington, which hosts the Cowboys. Washington won both games last season, but the Cowboys were on a 32-12 run before that and have had a winning rivalry record in each decade from the ’60s on.
Have a hopeless feeling heading into Sunday night, Bears fans? You’re not the only ones. For whatever that’s worth.
Here’s what’s happening:
Cowboys at Washington (noon, Fox-32)
Washington has won four in a row, but that didn’t stop Cowboys coach Mike McCarthy from telling reporters, “We’re going to win this game.” Maybe Matt Nagy should try that maneuver before it’s too late?
Raiders at Chiefs (noon, Ch. 2)
Not to tell you how to run your fantasy team, but you might want to at least consider starting this Patrick Mahomes fellow. He hit the Raiders for 406 yards and five touchdowns through the air in Week 10.
CBB: Villanova at Baylor (2 p.m., Ch. 7)
Somebody has to beat the champs eventually. Why not Nova, which led the Bears deep into the second half in last season’s Sweet 16?
Bills at Buccaneers (3:25 p.m., Ch. 2)
Young star Josh Allen spent the week calling Tom Brady “undeniably the greatest of all time” and a “great human being,” to boot. Now that’s a kid who sounds excited to be getting out of Buffalo for a couple of days.
Bears at Packers (7:20 p.m., Ch. 5, Peacock)
So Aaron Rodgers thinks he “owns” the Bears, does he? Oh, please. He should have to make us all miserable for another 20 or 30 years before he likens himself to a McCaskey.
Flames at Blackhawks (6:30 p.m., NBCSCH, NHL)
Calgary netminder Jacob Markstrom has the lowest goals-against average in the league in the finest season of his long, distinguished career. That and $25 Canadian will get him into the Hall of Fame to see Marc-Andre Fleury’s plaque someday.
Rams at Cardinals (7:15 p.m., ESPN)
The Cardinals have a sparkling 10-2 record, but they’re only 3-2 at home. Yet another screw-up by Ryan Pace and Nagy, who should’ve offered to have the Bears travel to Arizona last weekend.
Pistons at Bulls (7 p.m., NBCSCH)
Do the Bulls even have enough healthy players to play a game? Then again, it could be worse — they could be the Pistons, who don’t have enough NBA-caliber players to stay in a game.
Capitals at Blackhawks (7 p.m., NBCSCH)
Seth Jones had one of his best games as a Hawk in a 4-3 shootout victory in D.C. on Dec. 2. Something tells us Caps remember that one, too.
Bulls at Raptors (6:30 p.m., NBCSCH)
Toronto’s Scottie Barnes has a great shot at rookie of the year, and how ’bout that? You just never know what you’re going to get when you draft a 6-7 forward from Florida State with the No. 4 pick.
Chiefs at Chargers (7:20 p.m., Fox-32, NFL, Amazon)
Nothing says Amazon like a showdown for first place in the AFC West. OK, so it’s not “Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”-good, but still.
Cure Bowl: Northern Illinois vs. Coastal Carolina (5 p.m., ESPN2)
A “W” here would be the Huskies’ 10th of the season. According to our sources, that’s 10 more than they had in 2020.
Predators at Blackhawks (7:30 p.m., NBCSCH)
The Preds have had the Hawks’ number ever since that awful playoff series in 2017. Speaking of, it sure would be nice to be able to put “Hawks” and “playoffs” in the same sentence again.
CBB: DePaul at Northwestern (2 p.m., BTN)
The Blue Demons were unable to knock off Chicago’s best team, Loyola. Perhaps they’ll have more luck with Evanston’s best team.
Raiders at Browns (3:30 p.m., NFL)
Browns fans can’t stop bellyaching about this disappointing 6-6 team. Have these people no sense of irony whatsoever?
Boxing: Deron Williams vs. Frank Gore (7 p.m., Showtime PPV)
An old point guard meets an old running back. Are you ready to … fumble?
Patriots at Colts (7:15 p.m., NFL)
Just give Bill Belichick the coach of the year award already. Has he ever won one of those before?