Dear Abby: Wedding in peril after venue hires her ex

DEAR ABBY: I am marrying a wonderful man I love dearly. We have planned a dream wedding for ourselves rather quickly. I secured the venue we wanted. There was no other place or date available to us as backup. At this point, we would lose thousands if we cancel.

After months of meetings and negotiations with the woman who manages the facility, I was shocked to receive a text from my last ex-boyfriend informing me that he is the new general manager of the venue, and will be my point person of contact from now on. Things did not end well in our relationship, and he still owes me money from a loan I gave him right before the breakup.

This is extremely upsetting for me. I can’t imagine having to plan my wedding with someone who mistreated me and took advantage, nor do I want to see him on my wedding day. How do I express this to the staff I worked with until this point so that I won’t sound bitter or petty? I know people can’t steal our happiness unless we let them, but he was not part of the equation when we chose this location, and we can’t move our nuptials to avoid him. Please help me see a way out of this because I feel trapped. — BLUSHING BRIDE

DEAR B.B.: If you have been working with a wedding planner, that person could be the point of contact with this man rather than you. If you don’t have one, you and your fiance — or your maid of honor — should contact your ex and inform him that you both prefer he have no part in planning the wedding and you would prefer he remain out of sight when it occurs. If he gives you any trouble, contact the owner of the facility, explain your predicament and ask that person to intervene. If that’s problematic, then you may have to involve an attorney to see what your options are.

DEAR ABBY: Why do women spend half their lives in search of the perfect man? And then when they find him, spend the other half trying to change him? — INQUIRING MIND, CORPUS CHRISTI, TEXAS

DEAR INQUIRING MIND: I suspect it’s for the same reason a man will buy a beautiful, expensive new car and then customize it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 57-year-old woman who has been diagnosed with cancer. I am currently receiving good treatment. My problem is, I can’t swallow pills. I have never been able to swallow pills and — trust me — I have tried everything. Is there anyone out there who can help me? I need to be able to resolve this issue. — MARY ELLEN IN MISSOURI

DEAR MARY ELLEN: Because of the seriousness of your illness, your doctor/oncologist should be told about this right away. It’s possible that your medication may be able to be prescribed in liquid, powder or another form, rather than in pills.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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