DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend who is a bed-wetter. It’s obvious because he’s constantly doing laundry and his home smells bad at times. We once shared a hotel room, and I was awakened in the middle of the night by a strong smell of urine.
He tries to hide his problem but seems to be doing little if anything to find a solution for it. I want to persuade him to get some help, but I don’t feel comfortable saying anything, and I don’t want to embarrass him. What can I do? — CONCERNED FRIEND IN MICHIGAN
DEAR CONCERNED FRIEND: What would you want your friend to do if the situation were reversed, and you were the person with the bed-wetting problem?
Friends communicate with each other. Talk privately with this person. Say you think there “may” be a problem and urge him to discuss it with a urologist.
There is help for bed-wetters — medications, as well as mechanical devices — that in many cases can fix the problem. But only if the sufferers — and bed-wetters do suffer — know help is available and are willing to ask for it.
DEAR ABBY: I have been dating “Miles” for two years. He will move in with me soon.
Miles has two sons from his previous marriage. He loves them and sees them regularly. I can’t help but feel a little jealous because he makes a huge effort to be with his kids as often as possible, entertaining them and taking them to nice restaurants.
The issue I have is that Miles and I never go out. We have never been on vacation or had a weekend date. Our dates consist of eating a sandwich or me cooking. Is it normal to feel a little jealous, or should I call him out on it? — AT THE FOOT OF THE LIST
DEAR FOOT OF THE LIST: Miles appears to be a good father, but your feelings are understandable and they should be discussed with Miles before he moves in. In romantic relationships there is a certain degree of “courtship” that appears to be missing here. And believe me, unless you talk this through, nothing will change because he thinks the status quo is acceptable to you.
DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are good drivers and enjoy driving. But we get into arguments during road trips about who should drive.
He feels he should drive because “he’s the man.” I feel we should take turns. We both hate being the passenger. Can you give us some good advice? — DRIVING IT HOME IN ARIZONA
DEAR DRIVING IT HOME: Yes. Instead of spoiling your road trip by arguing while you’re on the road, have an agreement before you leave about how the driving duties will be shared.
Because sitting in the passenger seat can become boring after a while, some couples split their trips into equal shifts. Others agree that one spouse will drive to the destination and the other will drive on the trip home. It has less to do with “who’s the man” than with fairness.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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