DEAR ABBY: I just divorced my husband. We were together for 13 years. The last three weren’t great. After my divorce — which was grueling — I reconnected with my son’s father, and we are in love. Our romance was doomed before it started back then. Our son is now 18, and we are in our 40s.
Today, our situation is very different. We are both doing well financially and individually. We are blissfully happy and don’t rehash the past. I feel like we were interrupted when we were young. Am I crazy for feeling he is THE ONE? I really want it to work. — IN LOVE IN NEVADA
DEAR IN LOVE: You aren’t crazy, but you are recently divorced and didn’t mention how long you have been “reconnected” with your son’s father. I urge you to put the brakes on and take the time to get to know each other again. I also think you SHOULD rehash the past because unless the problems of years ago are resolved, they may be repeated. Time will tell if he is, indeed, “The One,” and fortunately, you both have plenty of it. I wish you a happy ending.
DEAR ABBY: I have five nieces and nephews. With the exception of one nephew, my wife and I have attended all of their weddings. They were all invited to and attended our daughter’s wedding.
The last nephew is being married next year. All of his cousins are invited, with the exception of my daughter. Why? Even though she is the same age as the rest of his cousins, he says he doesn’t know her that well.
Should my wife and I attend his wedding? If we do, I will insist he invite my daughter as well. — EXCLUDED IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR EXCLUDED: Excluding your daughter so glaringly guarantees that your nephew and his wife will never get to know her. However, you cannot, and should not, attempt to control your nephew’s guest list by threatening not to attend if your daughter isn’t invited. If you would feel uncomfortable accepting the invitation under these circumstances, send your regrets on the RSVP card. If you are asked why you won’t be coming, feel free to express yourself then.
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship for almost a year. We connected in a way I have never felt before, and I tried to stay away from him. He’s married, and his wife was diagnosed with cancer last year.
I have tried to end things three times so he could focus on his family. But he keeps coming back to me and begging me to wait, give him time and not abandon him. I feel so guilty for the things I want from him because of his wife’s condition.
I don’t know what to do. I want to be with him. But I don’t want to cause his family to struggle more on top of everything else. Please help. — DIFFICULT SITUATION
DEAR SITUATION: If you are sincere about not wanting to cause this man’s family more pain, STEP AWAY NOW. His wife should be the focus of his attention. If this relationship is the real thing, it can be restarted when he is free from the responsibility he assumed when he promised “until death do us part.”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
To receive a collection of Abby’s most memorable — and most frequently requested — poems and essays, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby — Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.
