Dear Abby: Boyfriend flirts with other women while we’re out together

Jealous girlfriend sees the small talk with strangers as a sign that she’s not enough for him

SHARE Dear Abby: Boyfriend flirts with other women while we’re out together

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been going out with this guy for a couple of months. The problem is, he has to always talk to every woman he sees — from a two-second conversation to a several-minute conversation. He doesn’t even know 99% of them.

When we go to a store, I feel like I’m invisible. He’ll walk away from me and start talking to women. I don’t trust him completely because sometimes he flirts or says something that could be taken in a sexual way, and I worry that one of these women could take it like he’s interested in her.

I don’t want to break up with him. I love him. But I feel I have reason to be jealous. I wish I was the only girl for him. Please give me advice. — NOT NUMBER ONE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NOT NUMBER ONE: If you have discussed this with him and it persists, listen to your intuition. If he loved you, he would not be chatting up other women. If a man makes you feel like you are not No. 1, get rid of him before he destroys your self-esteem.

DEAR ABBY: We have a neighbor who likes to go out with us to the casinos, restaurants and various other places. This is doing her a favor, but she never contributes toward the transportation. When we go out with other couples, we alternate driving or help to pay for fuel. All we get from her is, “Thank you. Let me know when you’re going next time.”

I know she reads your column. I hope she reads this and realizes this sounds like her and takes the hint. What do you think is the best way to handle this situation? — ALWAYS THE TAXI

DEAR ALWAYS: Your friend may be an avid “Dear Abby” reader, but what if — heaven forbid — she misses the column today and doesn’t see your letter? The “best” way to handle this would be for you to take the bull by the horns and address the problem directly with her.

DEAR ABBY: My 4-year-old grandson, “Johnny,” is obsessed with all things military. Everything he picks up is a pretend gun, sword or blaster. I know we played cowboys and Indians as kids, pointing sticks or our hands and shouting “Pow! You’re dead!” and none of us turned into shooters. But today’s climate is more violent. Johnny has already gotten into trouble at preschool for pointing and making shooting noises. Is there anything we can do to discourage this behavior? Does he need professional help? — UNCLEAR IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNCLEAR: Because Johnny has gotten into trouble for pretending to play with guns, his parents should explain to him why it is not OK to do that at school. Unless there is something going on with your grandson that you omitted from your letter, he should not need professional intervention for acting like a normal boy.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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