Dear Abby: I worry sister isn’t bonding with her baby

She always seems to be handing off the three-month-old to someone else so she can work or be with her significant other.

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DEAR ABBY: My younger sister, “Fern,” gave birth to a son three months ago. Since she returned to work, it seems like all she does is dump her baby, “Ricky,” on others so she can sleep with her special someone. I watched Ricky a couple of times while they ran errands, even though they have someone living with them to keep an eye on the baby.

Fern works nights and her S.O. works days, but all I hear is that Ricky is getting watched by someone else. She’s always in the parking lot at work 30 minutes before we open although she lives nearby. She also volunteers for extra work as often as she can. She has struggled with mental health and alcohol abuse, so I’m worried she may have postpartum depression.

I want Ricky to be safe, and I’d love for them to have a healthy bond. From the things she says, I’m worried they don’t. I know for some moms it takes time, but she wasn’t excited about her pregnancy or about giving birth. She’s a first-time mom, so maybe I’m not giving her a chance. Am I just a nosy aunt, or is this normal? — AUNT IN THE SOUTH

DEAR AUNT IN THE SOUTH: While Fern’s parenting style isn’t the same as yours, from what you have written, she and her significant other are making sure Ricky is cared for in their absence. This is why I think the answer to your question is yes, you ARE being a nosy aunt.

DEAR ABBY: I have caught my boyfriend looking at his mom’s rear end more than once. She sometimes walks around the house in tight-fitting booty shorts that are so short you can see part of her butt. Sometimes he actually stares, which I find extremely disturbing. I’m not sure what to do. I have even thought about breaking up with him. We usually hang out at my house, but whenever we spend time at his house and his mom wears short shorts, I catch him. Please advise me on this. — CAN’T UNSEE THIS

DEAR CAN’T UNSEE: Have you talked with your boyfriend about your observation? If you haven’t, you should. If you are seriously worried that he’s lusting after his mother, you should absolutely end the romance. No ifs, ands or butts.

DEAR ABBY: Should vehicle charging be provided as an amenity to an overnight houseguest? When my family visits our vacation home, they have gotten into the habit of plugging in their hybrid vehicles when they arrive. They live only an hour away and don’t “need” the additional range to return home. Their vehicles can cost about $30 to charge. Are they taking advantage of our hospitality, or is this the cost of having the company? — UNSURE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNSURE: Does this happen regularly? If the answer is yes, and the cost of the electricity creates a burden for you, speak up and ask your guests to stop or compensate you. However, if it doesn’t, then I would consider it a part of the hospitality I have extended.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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