Plunging into the world of Donald Trump’s relentless spam emails — and regretting it

Data delirium.

Each day a question arises.

To “mark as spam” — or not?

The daily drawerful of dross in my email is a stew of political plots, burial plots, twitter twaddle; exhortations of money … and advice on “how to turn the humble lentil into an extravagant luxury.”

Which brings me to the reason for my recent data distress.

Donald Trump.

Yes. Yes. Requests for donations from “Team Trump, Donald J. Trump, and Donald Trump Jr.,” became a new mega MAGA experience for me last week.

I decided to actually read Trump’s campaign cash requests instead of trash them in the wake of news he had more than $110 million in his Save America PAC at the end of February — more cash than both the DNC and RNC coffers together (although the Dems have a tad more than the Republicans).

Thus, my intro to Trump PAC ack ack began with an urgent early morning plea from Trump to “defend” him because the “Left won’t stop. The Left is coming for us.”

It was accompanied by news I was being sent a “Trump-signed” one-of-a-kind book titled “Our Journey Together” if I quickly dispatched some cash to Save America!

I decided to wait.

Then at 11:18 a.m. last Wednesday a message dispatched from DonaldJTrump.com asked me to verify “that we’ve spelled YOUR NAME correctly. We want to add YOUR NAME to the Trump Donor Wall.

It was also accompanied by a threat.

“You have 1 HOUR.”

Yikes!

My “record” on their 2022 donor wall consisted of one figure: “0.” (As in zero.)

A few hours later, at 5:17 p.m., I received a missive to submit an answer to a “live” Trump poll: “Would you vote for President Trump a Third Time?”

Gosh. What’s a girl to do? I hadn’t voted for him once (nor asked to be on his email list)!

Then at 7:18 p.m., the excitement crescendoed upon receipt of “a CONFIDENTIAL Trump Memo” asking if I “could keep a secret and not share a TOP SECRET LOCATION.

This was getting personal.

“Seriously, it’s CONFIDENTIAL,” the memo stated. “President Trump is holding a rally in a TOP SECRET LOCATION. And he wants YOU to meet him there.” Good grief!

It continued: “Only TOP Trump Patriots qualify for this opportunity to meet President Trump, and YOU are one of them, ‘michael sneed.’”

They also wanted to know if they had spelled my name correctly.

“We can’t stress enough how important it is that you do NOT share this email.

“If you do, we’ll have to rescind your offer to meet President Trump.”

The instruction: Contribute any amount immediately to win a trip to meet “President Trump” at a confidential TOP SECRET LOCATION scheduled to be held next month.

The win? “Flying ‘michael sneed’ and a friend to the top secret location; covering ‘your’ hotel, meeting Trump backstage at the rally; and taking a photo backstage … ‘AND SO MUCH MORE.’”

Boyoboyoboy!

Good grief: The offer was followed by another veiled threat: “Verify” the spelling of my name again, with an hour deadline to do so.

This columnist couldn’t take any MAGA anymore. Made me wonder who could — the requests had gotten so menacing.

I decided to hit the spam button.

Gag ... a … MAGA!

Over and out.

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Madeleine’s way…

A few words on former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, who died Wednesday.

In all her years honing skill as a teacher, feminist and mother of three daughters, Madeleine Albright’s advice in the diplomacy department was immeasurable.

But one of her unforgettable quotes was a zinger … especially for those of us once dreaming of careers pretty much inaccessible during the 1960s.

Her hope for “young women not to be afraid to interrupt.”

Known for engaging in her own special type of diplomacy, Albright had founded a club called “Madeleine and her Ex’s,” a group of all the former diplomats with whom she had once worked.

Born as Marie, renamed Madeleine by her mother and later called “Grandma Maddie” by her six grandchildren, Albright checked all the boxes in a world dominated by men.

“All my memories of Madeleine were from my two stints doing White House advance for Presidents Carter and Clinton,” said Chicago based PR maven Rick Jasculca, of the Jasculca Terman PR firm. “She was a great American.

“I first met her in the ‘70s when she worked as a staffer for the National Security Council when Carter was president,” he said. “I remember back then that many of us knew intuitively that she would go on to bigger things because of her smarts, acumen as a strategist and deep commitment to human rights.

“When I had the opportunity to interact with her again during the Clinton years, I always fumbled. First calling her ‘Madeleine,’ then catching myself and calling her ‘Madam secretary.’

“She’d always smile, roll her eyes a bit and say: ‘You know it’s OK if you call me Madeleine.’

“Then I’d blush,” he said.

Albright, a beloved professor whom I met only once, was less than 5 feet tall and a former refugee who walked her own unique path to became the first woman to become U.S. secretary of state.

Her legacy was the ability to interrupt when it counted.

And for that we should all give thanks.

Sneedlings ...

A lion and a cub: Charles “Chuck” Burke, 91, who lives in Northbrook, and heralded as the oldest surviving speedskater of the 1952 and 1956 Winter Olympics, was honored recently at the K-1 Indoor (Go-Cart) Carting “Grand Prix” in Buffalo Grove at an event organized by the car-racing enthusiasts. Burke actually raced a go cart! “He was an amazing example of endurance,” said sports car racer Michai Stephens, 30, who placed second in the race. “He believes in staying true to one’s sports instinct, living your passion and giving to others,” he added. “That’s endurance!” …

Saturday’s birthdays: Keira Knightley, 37; Diana Ross, 78, and James Caan, 82. Sunday’s birthdays: Gerald ‘Buster’ Posey, 35; Mariah Carey, 52, and Quentin Tarantino, 59.