Who would win the mascot cage match: Clark the Cub or Southpaw?

SHARE Who would win the mascot cage match: Clark the Cub or Southpaw?

The Cubs’ new mascot, Clark, has been the talk of the town since his unveiling on Monday. From the backlash on social media, to Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic’s gaffe where they posted a very NSFW version of Clark, to our own Rick Telander and Neil Steinberg weighing in on the issue, this is the most anyone’s talked about the Cubs in a quite a long time.

Now that we’ve acknowledged the Cubs’ greatest offseason acquisition is a mascot, we have to ask the really important question: Who would win in a crosstown mascot cage match: Clark or Southpaw?

Who would win in a crosstown mascot cage match?

And when you think about it, there’s a good chance we could see the two duke it out at Wrigley or the Cell, considering mascots have settled their grievances in public before. For example:

That one time a Duck beat a Cougar:

When they said someone was going to lose an eye, they weren’t joking:

The Southern Miss and Alabama mascots clearly are WWE fans:

“You don’t take another mascot’s head off” … but this time, they did:

Sometimes you just want to know your mascot can hold his own against drunk and unruly fans (which is an issue on both sides of town):

It’s a Bear vs. a Tree:

And then there was the time the San Diego Chicken took one not for the team, but from the other team:

The Latest
McMichael’s body responded well to medication for MRSA.
It began in 1970 with the death of Illinois Secretary of State Paul Powell, a colorful old school downstate pol known for cutting deals that benefited southern Illinois — and himself. And the long tawdry saga could soon see its final chapter with the expected sale of a country home in Vienna, Ill.
Adan Casarrubias Salgado led the Guerreros Unidos cartel, which has been blamed for the presumed massacre of 43 college students in Mexico in 2014.
From inflation-adjusted figures to digital documents, taxpayers should check last year’s tax return for guidance.
The messages were distinct: Even after years of Democratic control, not nearly enough is still being done to help people in Black and Latino communities. Unlike the Republicans, the Black and Latino Legislative caucuses actually have considerable sway over the state’s lawmaking process.