Who would win the mascot cage match: Clark the Cub or Southpaw?

SHARE Who would win the mascot cage match: Clark the Cub or Southpaw?

The Cubs’ new mascot, Clark, has been the talk of the town since his unveiling on Monday. From the backlash on social media, to Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic’s gaffe where they posted a very NSFW version of Clark, to our own Rick Telander and Neil Steinberg weighing in on the issue, this is the most anyone’s talked about the Cubs in a quite a long time.

Now that we’ve acknowledged the Cubs’ greatest offseason acquisition is a mascot, we have to ask the really important question: Who would win in a crosstown mascot cage match: Clark or Southpaw?

Who would win in a crosstown mascot cage match?

And when you think about it, there’s a good chance we could see the two duke it out at Wrigley or the Cell, considering mascots have settled their grievances in public before. For example:

That one time a Duck beat a Cougar:

When they said someone was going to lose an eye, they weren’t joking:

The Southern Miss and Alabama mascots clearly are WWE fans:

“You don’t take another mascot’s head off” … but this time, they did:

Sometimes you just want to know your mascot can hold his own against drunk and unruly fans (which is an issue on both sides of town):

It’s a Bear vs. a Tree:

And then there was the time the San Diego Chicken took one not for the team, but from the other team:

The Latest
A 22-year-old man named Christian I. Soto was charged with murder, attempted murder and home invasion, official said during a Thursday media briefing. Rockford Police Chief Carla Redd said investigators haven’t determined a motive for the attacks.
Can a message generated by an algorithm ever match hearing from a human?
White Sox fans from all over will flock to Guaranteed Rate Field on Thursday for the team’s home opener against the Tigers.
Despite the addition of some new characters (human and otherwise) the film comes across as a relatively uninspired and fairly forgettable chapter in the Monsterverse saga.
Unite Here Local 1, representing the workers at the Signature Room and its lounge, said in a lawsuit in October the employer failed to give 60 days notice of a closing or mass layoff, violating state law.