Dear Abby: Told not to enter, teen’s friends barge in, refuse to leave

The rude 13-year-old girls laugh off requests to get out by the teen and her mom.

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DEAR ABBY: On a recent Saturday afternoon, two of my daughter’s 13-year-old friends came to our house. My daughter answered the door, and after being denied access, both pushed their way in.

During their stay, the girls were rude and disrespectful, going through the refrigerator and pantry and helping themselves to whatever they wished. My wife and daughter repeatedly asked them to leave, but the girls laughed and ignored the requests.

What do you suggest in an event such as this without getting physical, as my wife didn’t have their parents’ phone numbers? (I was away on a work trip during all of this.) — DISRESPECTED IN OUR HOME

DEAR DISRESPECTED: These are “friends”? Your wife should have done what anyone should do when unwanted intruders burst into one’s home. She should have called the police, had the girls removed and filed a formal complaint. She should also have reported the incident to the school, gotten the parents’ phone numbers and informed them about what occurred so it doesn’t happen to her and your daughter or some other family again. And by the way, your daughter should be taught to never open the door unless she WANTS to let someone in.

DEAR ABBY: I have managed to tangle myself in a sticky situation. Two close friends of mine have asked me to be a bridesmaid in their weddings.

When “Maya,” who has been a huge support system for me the past two years through nursing school, informed me that she would ask me to be a bridesmaid as soon as her “gift” for me came in the mail, I yelped with excitement. However, my childhood friends “Lily” and “Byron” are engaged and have formally asked me to be a bridesmaid in their wedding on the SAME DAY that Maya said she would ask me to be in HER wedding.

Unfortunately, I forgot that Maya’s date was the same as Lily’s, and I told both of these close friends I would stand beside them on their wedding day. How do I decide whose wedding to attend? — DESPERATE BRIDESMAID IN VIRGINIA

DEAR BRIDESMAID: Yes, you ARE in a pickle. Now you must decide who you REALLY want to be with.

Frankly, from what you have written, it seems you are more excited about Maya’s nuptials than Lily and Byron’s. Technically, you accepted Maya’s “almost invitation” before you were invited by Lily and Byron. But you’re on your own in determining to whom you’re more comfortable giving your regrets and apologies.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of three years got mad at me and destroyed all my late mother’s vintage jewelry. It had been in the family for 70 years. He apologized when I returned home, but I don’t think he is sincere. What should I do? — STOLEN MEMORIES IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STOLEN MEMORIES: Your boyfriend appears to have serious anger management problems. What you should do is realize that the longer you two are together, the greater the chances of him damaging not only more of your property, but also even you. Continue this relationship ONLY if he starts anger management classes. If he refuses, end the romance.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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