Dear Abby: I divorced his dad, and now son resents the man I’m seeing

He used to like his mom’s old friend, but now that the relationship is happening, he hardly speaks to him.

SHARE Dear Abby: I divorced his dad, and now son resents the man I’m seeing
dear_abby_12880069_e1420416724734_655.jpg

DEAR ABBY: I was married for more than 20 years and am recently divorced. I should have done it years ago, but my son, “Nicky,” begged me not to. He’s 22.

I am now dating a gentleman, “Clyde,” and am very happy to be in this relationship. Clyde treats me like a queen. I have known him longer than I’ve known my ex-husband. He and his family (including his ex-wife) are close friends.

Before we started dating, Clyde called my ex, told him we were going to start seeing each other and that he wanted my ex to hear it from him, not through the rumor mill. My ex said he was fine with it and thanked him for letting him know.

We then informed Clyde’s kids and my son. Everyone was fine with it except Nicky. He’s upset that we started dating three months after my divorce. Mind you, my marriage to Nicky’s father was over years ago. Clyde had nothing to do with it. Now my son has an “attitude” with Clyde. He hardly speaks to him and never spends time with us.

I have always been there for Nicky. His actions hurt. He can’t seem to accept that I’m happy and that Clyde and I are more than friends now. Before we started dating, Nicky and Clyde had a good relationship. How do I get my son to come around? — SECOND CHANCE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SECOND CHANCE: Nicky may be hoping that you and his father might one day reconcile and regard Clyde as an interloper. Explain to him that the divorce may seem recent to him, but for you and his dad, it was the final step in disengaging from a marriage that had been over for years. Tell him you love him and are sorry he is upset, but it’s no excuse for treating Clyde badly, and you expect him to treat Clyde with respect, if not affection. Then go on and enjoy your life because you deserve it.

DEAR ABBY: My children attend a school where they are in three different buildings. One is in high school, one in middle school and the youngest is in elementary. Recently, the married elementary school principal had an affair with a married teacher’s assistant. A few years before, the married middle school principal had an affair with a married teacher.

My concern is that the administration knows this but does nothing about it. I have addressed them with my concerns. I believe there was an abuse of power. If they are willing to sweep this under the rug, what else have they swept? Should I mind my own business or pursue the issue further? — MOM ON PATROL IN NEW YORK

DEAR MOM: Because of the litigious environment we live in, many businesses and educational institutions have policies that discourage fraternization. What you consider an abuse of power may be a relationship between consenting adults. You say you have brought this to the attention of school administration. I think you have done enough. From now on, stay out of this unless you have absolute proof there is coercion involved.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

The Latest
The man, 36, was in a vacant building sometime Sunday morning in the 6400 block of South Whipple Street when the fire started, according to Chicago Fire Department officials.
He wants to help catch the person who shot him. First, he has to get police to work with him — then he has to pick the right guy.
About 4:25 a.m., a red sedan was going south in the northbound lanes of the 3300 block of South DuSable Lake Shore Drive when it struck a dark SUV going north, Chicago police said.
Voters face a long list of candidates for Chicago mayor, some with vastly different views on public schools, and longstanding history, for better or worse, with the district.