Dear Abby: My hateful ex wants us to get back together

Reunite with the woman who calls him mean names and keeps bringing up his past? How could he resist?

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DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I split up, but she doesn’t want to tell anyone or change stuff on Facebook. When I told her that, for now, I just want to be friends, she got mad at me for changing the password on my account. She can get mean and hateful when she doesn’t get her way, and she keeps bringing up my past and won’t let it go.

She wants to get back together. We have broken up and gotten back together several times. This time, though, I’m not sure I want to. I love her, but I don’t know how much more I can take. She tells me she’s sorry every time she calls me names or is mean and thinks that it will fix everything. When I told her it wouldn’t, she threatened to block me if I put “single” on my profile. Please give me some advice. I don’t think this is healthy, and I don’t know what to do. — CONFUSED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR CONFUSED: Listen to your gut, which is telling you this romance isn’t healthy. There’s a reason the two of you have broken up repeatedly. Your ex-girlfriend is verbally abusive and controlling, and she threatens you.

Go ahead and post on your profile that you are single, and if she blocks you, so be it. The first step to healing your wounded heart will be to start meeting others. Give it a try, and you will find it’s very effective.

DEAR ABBY: There are many videos about proper hand-washing on the internet as well as video clips that have been aired on television demonstrating the proper technique. But just about everyone I have seen leaves the water running the whole time they are washing their hands. I don’t think it is a good idea to try to teach people, especially young children, a technique that is so wasteful.

There’s no reason for the water to be running all the time someone is washing their hands or brushing their teeth because that water just goes right down the drain. While it’s very important that everybody wash their hands to prevent viruses from spreading, it is also important to recognize that water is a precious resource. Care should be taken not to waste it. — ENVIRONMENTALIST IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR ENVIRONMENTALIST: You are right, which is why I am printing your timely reminder. In the Southwest, where drought is common, the importance of water conservation is a fact of life. Because I was surprised to receive a letter from New Jersey on this subject, I went online and learned to my surprise that starting in 2001, there was a drought that lasted 55 weeks in your state.

Folks, because water is not an infinite resource, be prudent. And I’m not just suggesting you be mindful when washing your hands and brushing your teeth. It’s also important to consider when rinsing dishes and — men — shaving once the quarantine is lifted.

DEAR READERS: Today I wish a Happy Father’s Day to fathers everywhere — birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers and all of those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent dads.

P.S. And a big shout-out to dual-role moms. I applaud you all.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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