Dear Abby: Always rejected on dating sites, short man considers lying about his height

Women never want to match with him once they learn he’s 4-foot-11.

SHARE Dear Abby: Always rejected on dating sites, short man considers lying about his height

DEAR ABBY: I am a man in my late 40s who has been looking for love all my life. One factor that has made it difficult is my height. I’m 4 feet 11 inches tall. What makes finding someone nearly impossible is that the online dating site profiles always ask for my height.

Unfortunately, being extremely short in stature isn’t a characteristic women are looking for, so even though I can spend upward of an hour filling out all that profile information, the system invariably returns a no-match for me. Do you think I should lie about my height, and when I meet the person, hopefully she can give me a chance? Or am I destined to spend my life alone? — SHORTY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SHORTY: Lying would be neither helpful nor appropriate, because the person you meet would then be inclined to wonder what else you were lying about. My dear late mother once told me, “Smart women measure their men from the eyebrows up, not the hairline down,” and it’s true. Some of the most brilliant and charming men I know are short, and it doesn’t make them less attractive. You may have better luck if you are introduced to women by people who know you — relatives, friends, friends of friends, etc. You can also do a search online to see which sites have better results for shorter people. Some dating sites and apps even cater to shorter people.

DEAR ABBY: I am the grandmother of eight wonderful grandchildren, whom I love dearly. There is, however, one aspect that I loathe: sleepovers. It doesn’t bother my husband that I’m stuck with endless loads of extra laundry: towels, wash cloths, sheets, blankets, comforters, etc. He works; I am disabled. When I tell him I can’t manage all the extra laundry, he asks, “Want to trade places?” Am I wrong in thinking he doesn’t care about me when he encourages these dreaded sleepovers? — OVERWORKED IN THE WEST

DEAR OVERWORKED: Your husband appears to prioritize his entertainment over the effect it has on your body and your stress level. Draw the line. This isn’t about “trading places.” Tell him you need a hand! If he wants the kiddies over, he will have to shoulder more of the laundry duty because you can no longer manage all of it. The older grandchildren should also help with it before they leave. Stick to your guns, because stress has been known to make fragile people sick.

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended my first rodeo, and during the singing of the national anthem, I realized I was getting the “stink eye” from a pair of teenaged boys. I hadn’t removed my straw sunhat because I was taught that a woman’s hat is considered part of her outfit and need not be taken off on such occasions. I’m the wife and daughter of veterans, and this is their understanding as well. Have the rules changed? — “HATTY” IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR “HATTY”: According to, fashionable hats can be left on when the national anthem is played and when the flag of the United States is paraded by. However, if the person is wearing a baseball-style cap, members of both genders should respectfully remove it.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: “Abby’s Favorite Recipes” and “More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $16 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

The Latest
A 34-year-old man was found on the sidewalk in the 200 block of East 111th Street at about 10 p.m., police said. He was taken to a nearby hospital where he died.
On Earth Day 2024, companies have a chance to show genuine support for the transition to an economy based on green energy. Federal tax credits and other incentives for manufacturing are helping to fuel the transition — and create thousands of new jobs.
When a child is reeling from stress, trauma or hardship, the thinking part of their brain shuts down. Our money should be spent on high-dosage tutoring and other individualized approaches that are effective against illiteracy.
Thinking ahead to your next few meals? Here are some main dishes and sides to try.