DEAR ABBY: I have something to say about “Still Fun in the South” (Jan. 4) and her complaint that single middle-aged men only look for younger women, instead of women their age. I am a 53-year-old widower. I have a six-figure income. I’m smart, healthy and easygoing, and I have a good life with many hobbies and interests.
On multiple dating apps, I have swiped right on dozens of women my age. My main criteria were that they weren’t fanatically religious or rabidly political. Would you like to know how many swipe rights I received in return? Not one! I feel middle-aged women are far more picky than their younger counterparts, which is why I’m currently in a relationship with a woman in her mid-30s. I don’t pursue younger women — they pursue me while the women around my age couldn’t be bothered.
I realize my dating experience is anecdotal, and there are extenuating circumstances (COVID), but I don’t like being lumped into a category and complained about as if middle-aged women share none of the responsibility.
I want to tell “Still Fun” that if she wants a relationship with someone her age, she needs to be a little less judgmental and picky and give those middle-aged men who actually show an interest a chance. She might find there’s more to them than appears in a dating profile. — SEASONED IN SALT LAKE CITY
DEAR SEASONED: The responders to “Still Fun’s” letter pointed out the advantages AND disadvantages of dating people younger, older and the same age. But the common denominator for successful dating, according to those readers, is to emphasize what you are happy about in your life and describe your passions and interests. Someone who exudes confidence and a love of life and who doesn’t come across as desperate for a permanent move-in partner can do very well.
DEAR ABBY: Our daughter is engaged to the most wonderful young man. We all got along very well, including his parents with us. After one discussion about politics, they realized we’re on opposite sides of the spectrum and everything changed. They no longer call, or they hesitate to answer our calls.
We want to make things better because our daughter is deeply in love with their son, and she loves his parents. Could you please provide some suggestions? — OOPS! IN VIRGINIA
DEAR OOPS!: I can try, but there are no guarantees. While you and the other set of parents may disagree about solutions to the problems in this country, on one subject you should all be unified. That subject is wanting the happiness of your children and grandchildren when you are blessed with them. For this reason, make an agreement to put aside political differences, never again discuss them and work cooperatively together toward your mutual goal. However, if they cannot agree, you and your husband must accept that there may be a strain in your relationship until time can heal the breach.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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