Dear Abby: Husband lied when he promised never to put his dogs before me

He keeps acquiring more and would rather have them in his bed than his new wife.

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DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I got married a year ago, he had seven rescue dogs, which was a lot for me, but I accepted it. Two of the small dogs slept in our bed, and I was OK with that, too. My husband promised he would never put the dogs before me, and when those dogs died, he would not replace the big ones. (At that time, he had only two small ones.) Well, he has lost a big one and a small one, which left us with five dogs.

Not only did my husband go to the shelter and adopt two, he is going to buy another one! Everything he promised was a lie. The two from the shelter are allowed to sleep with us, although I’ve explained to him I can’t sleep with all these dogs in our bed. Rather than have them sleep somewhere else in the house, he has pretty much told me to pack my things. When he told his dog-loving mother about our problem, she advised him that it’s OK for me to sleep in another room so he can sleep with his dogs.

I feel like he knew all along what his intentions were. I almost left and I am still thinking about it. I’ve talked to him, but he won’t change his mind. I’m not sure why he even married me. Help me, please. — SLEEPING POORLY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR SLEEPING POORLY: Unfortunately, I can’t help you. You are going to have to help yourself. Your husband has made clear to you that his animals come first. Now that you know what his priorities are — and you appear to be at least sixth on the list — pack your bags and get out of there. He isn’t going to change, and you will both be happier.

DEAR ABBY: I have three children, ages 10, 8 and 5. I live about 45 minutes from my sisters and my parents, so we spend holidays and more together. My younger sister is pregnant and wants to name the baby “Bradley” because she and her husband can’t agree on any other name. When she asked my opinion, I was taken aback because my 5-year-old’s name is “Bradford.” At first I said it would be OK. But after a few days of thought, I asked her to please not use Bradley as a first name because my son (and hers) may want to use “Brad” in school or sports at some point, and it would be confusing. This has caused a family rift, as everyone thinks I’m being unfair.

At this point, it’s not about the name. It’s more about her deciding to ignore my wishes. Are there baby-naming rules of etiquette to follow? I will, of course, love the child regardless, and I love my sister. We are close. However, I’m surprised they can’t come up with any other name, knowing that it bothers me. Help! — NAME GAME IN ILLINOIS

DEAR NAME GAME: For whatever reason, your sister and her husband seem unable to find another name. Accept it and move on. Because of the five-plus year age difference between the boys, there shouldn’t be a problem with “confusion” because by the time her son is ready for kindergarten, your son will be so much further along in grammar school. He will also be out of high school by the time his cousin enters. Rather than fume over something you can’t control, let it go.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: “Abby’s Favorite Recipes” and “More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $16 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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