Dear Abby: My girlfriend posts selfies for her male ‘fans’ to admire

Man hesitant to take the relationship to another level because her Facebook habit bothers him.

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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been dating the same woman for more than two years. She is a beautiful lady who has quite a few male “fans” on Facebook, mostly from before we met. What bothers me, and I don’t understand why, is her habit of posting selfies and then loving the comments from other men about her looks. We have discussed this many times, but she can’t seem to stop.

Other than this, we seem to have a healthy relationship with the occasional, normal hiccups. I would like to take it to the next level, but I can’t help wondering if the Facebook habit is a sign that she needs more than what our relationship is giving her. Please advise. — HESITANT IN OHIO

DEAR HESITANT: Her Facebook habit may be a sign that your lady friend is insecure — or conceited — about her looks, which is why she encourages these “fans” by “hearting” their comments. Frankly, it’s sad that she needs more validation than she can get from one person, but that’s the woman you’re involved with. If she were seeing these men in the real world, I would say you have a serious problem. But she’s not, so it shouldn’t present a threat unless you make it one.

DEAR ABBY: My grandson, who I haven’t seen in 10 years, is getting married to a girl I don’t know. My husband, “Hank,” and I are invited to the wedding. We live 1,000 miles away, so we have to book a flight, reserve a hotel and pay for all our meals.

Hank has been waiting the last three months for a date for knee surgery. Most of the time, he’s in pain — especially when he walks. My daughter thinks we should postpone his surgery to attend the wedding. What do you think? — DEBATING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DEBATING: Of course your daughter wants her father at her son’s wedding. That she would be disappointed — as would the both of you — is understandable. But does she really want him there limping, wincing and in constant pain? Remind her that it has taken three months to get this surgery calendared. Tell her you will be with them in spirit on their special day, but her father’s health must come first. Then stick to your guns.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a small office of 15 people. The person next to me is diabetic and wears a beeper that goes off all day long. Am I supposed to endure this annoying sound even though she can put it on vibrate? — DISTURBED IN TEXAS

DEAR DISTURBED: No, you are not. Ask your co-worker if putting her beeper on vibrate would work for her, because the sound distracts you. If she’s willing to do that, your problem is solved. However, if she isn’t, then it may be time to discuss this with your supervisor or employer because it may be possible to relocate your workstation to another area.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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