The Cubs’ “curse” is gone, but there might be others to confront

Now that the Cubs have ended the bogus Curse of the Billy Goat, it’s time to turn our attention to the people and teams that have their own problems and perhaps their own bogus curses.

You can call this phenomenon the Curse of the Cubs. Because the former Lovable Losers have finally won a World Series, their first in 108 years, no one can hide behind the franchise’s wretchedness anymore. No one can say, “Sure, we might be a poor excuse for a team, but at least we’re not the Cubs!’’

Or, to put it in a more positive light, if the Cubs, of all organizations, can put their troubles in the past, anybody can.

Let’s take a look at the possibly hexed among us and their chances of ending the misfortunes that have dogged them. Let’s put those chances on a scale of one to 10 — one meaning these teams or people are doomed to decades of misery and 10 meaning a simple necklace of garlic cloves just might do the trick:

The Curse of Patten Gymnasium.

The first NCAA Final Four took place in 1939 at Northwestern’s Patten Gym. Oregon, led by “The Tall Firs’’ – Urgel “Slim’’ Wintermute, Lauren “Laddie’’ Gale and John Dick — beat Ohio State in the championship game. The gym was torn down the following year to make room for, gasp, the Technological Institute. As anyone who has attended Northwestern and has a deathly fear of math knows, Tech is where budding engineers learn their stuff. In other words, something noble and beautiful – a monument to sports – had given way to a house of horrors where numerical equations were actually celebrated. Northwestern has never been to the NCAA Tournament, and now you know why.

(Bad juju also sprung up in 1981, when I threw a half-filled beer can into some bushes in the south quad, attracting the attention of a Department of Public Safety officer who had been hiding in said bushes. A lecture about the slippery slope of crime ensued, and although I didn’t declare out loud that NU would never make the Tournament, I might have been thinking it and other nastiness.) Curse-buster rating: Five.

The Curse of the McCaskeys.

The Bears haven’t won a Super Bowl since the 1985 season. After team founder George Halas died in October 1983, his daughter, Virginia McCaskey, took over as chairman, and her son, Michael McCaskey, became president. The team that general manager Jim Finks had largely built won that ’85 championship, but since then, the franchise has been to the playoffs just 10 times and hasn’t won another title. See if you can identify the common denominator. Curse-buster rating: One.

The Curse of the Orange Sport Coat.

Nothing good can come from wearing an orange blazer, but for some reason, it has become a tradition for University of Illinois men’s basketball coaches. It didn’t look good on Lou Henson and it doesn’t look good on John Groce. If you’re looking for reasons why Illinois isn’t as successful as it should be and why it can’t recruit in Chicago, check out the ugly threads in Champaign. The only redeeming thing about the coats is that you can wear them during hunting season and not get shot at. Curse-buster rating: Six.

The Curse of Picking Too Many Sides.

President Obama never wavered in his allegiance to the White Sox. Even when he was running for the biggest office in the land, he risked losing the Cubs vote because of his devotion to the Sox.

Hillary Clinton grew up a Cubs fan, but when she was considering a Senate run in New York in 1999, she announced that she had always been a Yankees fan too. Can someone who has waffled on something so fundamental to our way of life be trusted? The people have spoken. Curse-buster rating: One.

The Curse of High School.

High school is for learning that life isn’t fair. A girl or boy won’t go out with you. A teacher won’t let a missing assignment slide, resulting in a lesser grade. A coach fails to see your athletic prowess. An entire governing body gives your football team a raw deal.

I have good news for you: You’ll get over it. You’ll eventually learn that you don’t always get what you want or deserve. We call that “life.’’ You’ll learn that adults make mistakes, and you’ll learn as an adult that you can make dumb mistakes with the best of them. If you’re lucky, people will forgive you.

Here’s the greatest lesson of all: If you find yourself looking back on high school as the best time of your life, you’re probably doing something wrong. Curse-buster rating: Ten.