My problem is that I’m 5 feet 4 inches tall and 135 pounds, but I’m attracted only to big, tall women. I’ve been out with women 5 foot 10, 180 pounds. Is there a reason for this do you think? Most women look at me strangelywhen I tell them I like tall, big women. Do I have a psychological problem? LARGE IN SPIRIT
Dear LARGE IN SPIRIT,
I don’t think you have a problem, I think you have a preference. Some guys like blonds, some prefer redheads, others will only date brunettes. The only problem, as I see it, is finding big, tall women who like short, thin men. But they’re out there. (You might want to read my column from December 2, 2001.) You can spend a lot of time and money seeing a shrink, finding out why you prefer your women on the Amazon side, but the time and money would be better spent making yourself the best short guy you can be.
I’m recently married, but I dated my husband for five years. He’s home at night. Never goes out with the boys. Stays in on the weekends. He works out at a health club, which I have called from time to time to see if he’s really there and he always is.
But he works in another state and travels for work. When I ask him about his business trips, his stories are full of inconsistencies. In my opinion, there has always been some woman at all of his jobs that has caused tension between us.
I’ve asked him point blank if he’s having an affair or is trying to or is interested in someone and he denies it all vehemently. But, then we come back to all of the things that do not add up with him. Two and two are never four, especially when his business trips are involved. Something about his explanations always stinks.
Deep inside me, I feel that he’s not trustworthy. I don’t feel that he’s being up front with me. I think he’s trying to pull the wool over my eyes. The only explanation I can come up with is that he’s cheating in one way or another. But he’s always home and mostly accountable for. Am I being paranoid? Should I believe him when he says he’s innocent? By the way, his energy level in the bedroom has declined as well as his input into the relationship. IS IT ME OR IS IT HIM?
One of two things is going on—your husband is cheating or you have trust issue.
The quickest way to resolve the issue is to hire a private investigator to follow him when he’s on the road. You’ll get an answer and you can go from there.
If the detective can’t find evidence of cheating, but your husband’s stories still don’t make sense to you, then you need to see a therapist. Your jealousy, mistrust and constant badgering will drive him away. Maybe that’s the problem in the bedroom.
Put yourself in his place for a minute and assume that he’s not cheating. But his wife doesn’t believe him, spies on him, and is constantly giving him the third degree.
Wouldn’t you check out of the relationship if you were him? Trust is the glue of a relationship. When it’s gone, so is the relationship.
Got a problem? Or a question? Send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. And check out my new ebook, “Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front.”
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