Dear Abby: My trip with Dad will be excruciating if he brings his girlfriend

The father’s sons don’t like her, and he’s hinting he wants her along on their ‘guys weekend.’

SHARE Dear Abby: My trip with Dad will be excruciating if he brings his girlfriend
dear_abby_12880069_e1420416724734_509.jpg

DEAR ABBY: My father, who has been a widower for 17 years, has been dating a woman on and off for 12 years, a couple years after my brother and I left for college. My brother and I have never cared for her, but we live three hours away from them in opposite directions now. We figure if he’s happy, then it’s none of our business. I try not to be rude, but I simply do not enjoy spending time with her.

I’ve been planning an out-of-state sports weekend with my dad and brother. I have been looking forward to it, because with three small kids, I have little time for these kinds of activities. I got us all tickets and hotel rooms, but my brother now has to skip it because of a family medical issue.

Dad has just hinted he may bring his girlfriend to take my brother’s spot, because “she’s upset and not talking to me because I didn’t take her to my brother’s son’s birthday.” I can’t imagine a more excruciating weekend.

I told him plainly, “I expected this to be a ‘guys’ weekend.” But, like always, he was cagey, and I’m terrified he is going to show up with his girlfriend. How can I impress upon him that I don’t want her to use my brother’s unused ticket because I do not want to spend the weekend with her? — BAD SPORT IN OREGON

DEAR BAD SPORT: Is your dad unaware of how you feel about his lady friend? The solution to your problem would be to tell your father that while you are pleased he has found happiness with this woman, you do not enjoy her company, which is why he doesn’t see more of you.

While you’re at it, tell him what it is about her that you cannot tolerate. Then “remind” him that her presence would change the character of the “guys weekend,” and if he plans to bring her, he will spend the weekend alone with her — your treat — because you, too, will change your plans.

DEAR ABBY: In seven months, my 43-year-old son will be married for the second time. Because of his fiancee’s problem drinking, I am absolutely against the marriage. I hate the idea of going to the wedding. Should I go anyway, and have the most miserable day of my life? I doubt that I would be able to hide my sadness. Or should I decline, tell my son I wouldn’t be a good guest to have on his happy day and wish them “all the best”? — HESITATING IN WASHINGTON

DEAR HESITATING: I will assume that your son is aware of your concerns about his fiancee’s drinking. Do not boycott this wedding. If you do, you will create a wedge between you and your daughter-in-law that could last for decades. Plaster on a smile and attend so you can wish them all the best in person. Then cross your fingers that your wish comes true.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

To order “How to Write Letters for All Occasions,” send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby — Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

The Latest
Four from North Central have combined to capture six national titles since the program’s inception, and six are scheduled to compete next month in the U.S. Olympic Team Trials at Penn State.
The Bulls have 13 games left in the regular season and an opportunity to break even when they visit the Rockets on Thursday.
“Joakim [Noah] is very driven and motivated,” coach Billy Donovan said. “He’s all about the team, about winning. You can put Coby and Ayo into that category in terms of how they view things.”
Maybe Fields will develop with the Steelers, become a franchise star. It’s more likely he’ll be an updated Mitch Trubisky.