Politicians can be so funny on Twitter. Sen. Dan Coats (R-Ind.) has been busy today, doing his best David Letterman impersonation with his top 10 things he can’t do as a result of the sanctions that ban him from Russia.
Although for some of these, there are easy workarounds.
10. I won’t be able to complete my granddaughter’s Russian doll collection
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
Hasn’t he ever heard of Ebay?
9. I won’t be able to compare the Bolshoi Opera House with the Palladium in Carmel
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
8. I’ll never learn the Russian name for our dog Hoosier
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
This one is kind of weak. Hasn’t he heard of Rosetta Stone?
7. I won’t be able to ski on the slushy slopes of Sochi
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
6. I won’t be able to buy Marsha a Russian mink coat for Christmas
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
5. I won’t be able to counsel Duma members on how to say no to a President
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
4. I’ll have to cancel my tennis match with Maria Sharapova
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
While that may be true, there’s nothing preventing him from watching and listening to her put on a grunting clinic:
3. I won’t be able to compare Russiaville, IN with Russia
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
We’re pretty sure one has more corn.
2. I won’t be able to see if borscht really does taste just like pork tenderloin
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
1. Our summer vacation in Siberia is a no go
— Senator Dan Coats (@SenDanCoats) March 21, 2014
Sorry, but you’re late to the party with this obvious joke, which Sen. John McCain (and we’re assuming others have already used). Worth using, but really, No. 1 on the list?
h/t The Hill
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