Dads do things differently — and that’s OK

Dads do things differently, and for some of us moms that can produce anxiety, especially when it comes to our children’s safety.

I’d prefer to prevent my daughters, Donae, 8, and Rhonda-Rene, 5, from getting a scraped knee climbing a tree, as opposed to their dad’s approach. He would allow them to climb the tree, and if an accident happened, he’d be high-fiving the wounded child for taking stinging alcohol on their injury like a pro.

After hearing how he recently handled a serious medical emergency involving a complete stranger, though, I’m no longer ambiguous about trusting his instincts.

“Remind me to tell you how I saved a woman’s life earlier,” said my husband, Dr. Don Parker. Don’t be confused by the Dr. in front of his name; this newly appointed K-8 school principal is a doctor of education, not medicine.

“Whoa. Wait. Wha- happened?” I asked.

Under no circumstances would I be able to give a calm account of saving a person’s life. Yet, for Don, it was a casual narration, given while slipping our daughters into their pajamas before bed.

“I was driving the girls to the park when I noticed a woman looking disoriented walking up the sidewalk,” he said. “At first glance, she appeared drunk. I pulled my car up onto the sidewalk and jumped out, asking, ‘Are you okay?’ She motioned to her mouth and began looking for something in her purse. Then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and BAM, she hit the lawn.” He fell down to reenact her collapse.

Only a person with keen instincts can distinguish a stranger suffering a medical emergency from one that’s assumed inebriated. Out of fear of the unknown, I might have kept driving. And had I stopped, if the woman had conked out in front of me, I probably would have screamed for help and prayed. Calling 911 would’ve been a secondary response.

Don didn’t do either. After he checked the woman’s pulse, he said, he emptied her purse onto the sidewalk, found an inhaler and administered it. “I pumped her up pretty good and that revived her,” he told me.

This all happened about a mile from Little Company of Mary Hospital in Evergreen Park. Several ambulances were passing by, so Don hailed one like a cab.

“Do you know her?” asked the paramedic.

“No!” Don said. “I saw she was in need of help and I stopped.”

“I’m happy to know good people still exist,” the paramedic said. “You saved her life.”

My daughters witnessed the whole thing. And I am grateful they did. By example, Don showed them how to care for people in distress. He showed them how to act with resolve in a crisis.

As you can imagine, I now have complete confidence in his abilities.

I’m embarrassed to admit it took Don saving a life before I stopped micromanaging his parenting. Just because he has a different way with our children doesn’t mean he’s wrong. In retrospect, it seems obvious that the best thing I can do for my children is maintain a healthy relationship with their father. Which means refraining from stressing our marriage with unnecessary criticism. My favorite book, the bible, says, “It’s better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”

I’ve had to overcome psychological and emotional duress as a result of an absent father. I would never wish that kind of pain on my daughters. I married a Godly man, whom thankfully hasn’t kept a record of my infractions. Don is a passionate educator, extraordinary husband and an undeniably dedicated dad. A dad who happened to save a woman’s life.

Heroes come in many forms. Heroism takes trust, bravery, selflessness and a willingness to stick your neck out for your neighbor.

If you happen to have one of those heroes at home, celebrate him.

Happy Father’s Day to all the great men actively engaged in their families. Keep doing what you do, in the way that you choose.

Claudia Parker is the author of Becoming a Mother While Losing My Own and Children’s Church with a Preschool Pastor. A columnist and correspondent for The Reporter newspaper, she’s is also a freelance writer and photographer. She is director of communications for a suburban school district.

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