'Just Go': Federal judge channels Dr. Seuss in tossing Rod Blagojevich’s ‘publicity stunt’ lawsuit

Rod Blagojevich returned to Chicago’s federal courthouse more than two years ago — camera crew in tow — to announce a lawsuit he’d filed himself to challenge a state Senate vote that banned him from returning to state or local office.

But it turns out there were a few problems with the impeached, disbarred and convicted former governor’s lawsuit. That’s according to the federal judge who gave it the unceremonious heave-ho Thursday.

In fact, U.S. District Judge Steven Seeger wrote that, if the problems in Blagojevich’s complaint were fish in a barrel, the lawsuit contained “an entire school of tuna.”

“It is a target-rich environment,” Seeger wrote. “The complaint is an Issue-Spotting Wonderland.”

There was plenty more where that came from in Seeger’s 10-page ruling, which put an end to the August 2021 lawsuit that has seen little action since Blagojevich’s news conference.

In a statement, the former governor’s spokesman called the ruling “no surprise.”

“The people should be able to decide who they want or don’t want to represent them — not federal judges or establishment politicians who are afraid of governors who fight for the people,” Mark Vargas said.

Blagojevich left prison in February 2020 thanks to a commutation by then-President Donald Trump. That commutation did not erase the 13 criminal convictions in Blagojevich’s notorious corruption case, though.

The convictions revolved around Blagojevich’s attempt to sell then-President-elect Barack Obama’s U.S. Senate seat, to extort the CEO of Children’s Memorial Hospital for $25,000 in campaign contributions, and to hold up a bill to benefit the racetrack industry for $100,000 in campaign contributions.

Absent the action by Trump in 2020, records at the time showed that Blagojevich’s 14-year prison sentence would have kept him in Bureau of Prisons custody until this very month.

This is not the first time Seeger has employed colorful language in the context of public corruption. He is the same judge who called former state Rep. Luis Arroyo a “corruption super-spreader” while handing Arroyo a nearly five-year sentence for taking bribes, and said that businessman James. T. Weiss added a “star to Chicago’s walk of shame” while giving him 5½ years for paying them.

Blagojevich’s lawsuit challenged the Illinois Senate’s ban preventing Blagojevich from holding state or local public office in Illinois for the rest of his life. He told reporters during his 2021 news conference outside the courthouse that “I may or may not run for public office again. I don’t have any particular plan to do it. I don’t have any plans to do it.”

Seeger on Thursday found that Blagojevich couldn’t sue under a statute he cited in his complaint. And “even if Blagojevich could get his foot in the door, he wouldn’t get very far before hitting his head on the constitutional architecture.”

The separation of powers prevents courts from interfering with the business of the legislative branch, Seeger wrote. And federalism prevents a federal court from interfering with a state legislature.

Seeger noted that some states allow judicial review of state impeachment proceedings, but Blagojevich has offered no reason to think Illinois would be one of them.

“There isn’t a lot of case law in Illinois,” Seeger wrote. “In fact, there isn’t any case law. And for good reason. In its 205-year history, the Illinois General Assembly has impeached, convicted and removed one public official: Blagojevich.”

Still, Seeger wrote that the judiciary “has no power to unimpeach, unconvict, and unremove a public official. The legislature taketh away, and the judiciary cannot giveth back.”

Further, the judge pointed to the hemming and hawing by Blagojevich about whether he actually intended to run for office again. The judge noted that “a claim is not ripe” if it relies on “contingent future events that may not occur as anticipated.”

“So, Blagojevich wants the ability to run for office, but he isn’t sure if he wants to run for office,” Seeger wrote. “He might run — if given the chance — and he might not. His plans haven’t fully ripened, so maybe his claim hasn’t ripened, either.”

The judge wrote that Blagojevich’s lawsuit “started with a megaphone, but it ends with a whimper. Sometimes cases in the federal courthouse attract publicity. But the courthouse is no place for a publicity stunt.”

And, in case his message wasn’t clear enough, Seeger wrapped things up by quoting Dr. Seuss: “The time has come. The time has come. The time is now. Just Go. Go. GO! I don’t care how. You can go by foot. You can go by cow. Marvin K. Mooney, will you please go now!”