When Mike Ditka and Joe Namath offer health insurance guidance

There I was dozing in my recliner when a vision of Joe Namath appeared and began speaking to me about Medicare.

“This is important information,” said the former quarterback of the New York Jets. Looking like the ghost of Marley from Dickens famous “A Christmas Carol,” he urged me to call the Medicare Coverage Helpline.

This magical place, he said, had offered him rides to medical appointments, doctors and nurses visits by telephone and even home delivered meals. Geez, I didn’t know Joe was in such bad financial shape.

The plan also offers seniors dental, vision, hearing and prescription drug coverage all at no additional cost, Namath boasted.

At a certain age, you fear seeing things that aren’t there. Dementia. Alzheimer’s. COVID isolation. Your imagination runs wild.

I had no clue why Namath, a fellow known as something of a party animal in his youth, would be talking to me about Medicare coverage but I knew this couldn’t be good.

A few minutes later, “Iron” Mike Ditka appeared on my TV screen.

Ditka, the former Chicago Bears head coach, was also urging me to call a Medicare helpline.

Free gym memberships, Ditka bragged. No co-pays. Dental and vision coverage. Prescription drug coverage. No monthly premiums. “That’s no as in zero.”

I was wide awake by this time. I knew my brain was functioning adequately, or at least as well as the ordinary Medicare patient.

There are people who will tell you that Medicare ought to be the blueprint for universal health insurance. They even call plans for single-payer national health care “Medicare for all” because everyone, in theory, understands what that means.

I thought I did.

Then I got old.

I discovered that there is traditional Medicare, and something called, Medicare Advantage. In theory, all of these plans are supposed to offer the same health coverage, so the public doesn’t get ripped off.

In fact, they are quite different. The Medicare Advantage plans are sold by private insurance companies, not the government.

Some senior citizens might wonder why private insurance companies would want to sell you health insurance that is already provided by the government.

The answer quite simply is that nothing is simple. And there are profits to be had.

There are gaps in Medicare coverage. The plan will not cover all of your medical expenses and does not cover the cost of prescription drugs. There’s a Medicare Part A and a Medicare Part B and a Medicare Part D.

Part A pays for hospital care and limited time in a skilled nursing facility.

Part B, which is optional, helps pay for services from doctors and other health care providers, outpatient care, home health care, durable medical equipment and some preventive services. You pay a premium for this.

Part D covers the cost of prescription drugs. There is also a cost for this.

And then you’ll probably want a supplemental insurance plan, which costs extra because Medicare parts A, B and D don’t pay for everything. There are premiums and deductibles. And still you may have to pay something if you get sick.

All of this is quite confusing which is how Medicare Advantage plans ended up appealing to folks because they make it sound like they cover everything, although that may not be true. Most are HMOs and you know what that means.

Namath and Ditka seemed like they were offering me a great deal until I noticed very small type at the bottom of the TV screen. It seemed to warn all the stuff they were promising might not be available. But I couldn’t actually read it.

I was hoping for some help when Meredith Vieira suddenly appeared in a commercial promising to do just that. I ignored her. What could she know about Medicare? She never played football.

Email: philkadner@gmail.co

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