Tina Fey as Sarah Palin nails it again on “Saturday Night Live” Debate skit

SHARE Tina Fey as Sarah Palin nails it again on “Saturday Night Live” Debate skit

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updated 2:25 a.m. Chicago time

WASHINGTON–Tina Fey nailed Sarah Palin for a third time in a parody of the vice presidential debate where Queen Latifah played moderator Gwen Ifill. A cast member, Jason Sudeikis spoofed Joe Biden.

Ifill was given quit a ribbing in the skit–shown as hawking her upcoming book, which she did not do at the debate–promising not to ask follow up questions in order to “not to appear biased for Barack Obama in light of my new book, “Breakthrough, Politics of Race in the Age of Obama.”

From Latifah as Ifill: “Due to the historically low expectations for Gov. Palin, were she simply to do an adequate job tonight, at no point cry, faint, run out of the building or vomit, you should consider the debate a tie.”

The real debate at Washington University in St. Louis featured a question about same sex benefits. Fey/Palin had this zinger, playing off Palin’s unwed pregnant teen daughter whose marriage to the father of her baby was announced when Palin was tapped by McCain to be his runningmate.

Said Fey/Palin, “You know I would be afraid of where that would lead. I believe marriage is meant to be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.”

Here are more highlights…

From NBC…….

Highlights from the VP Debate Sketch follow:

QUEEN LATIFAH AS GWEN IFILL: “Good evening, I’m Gwen Ifill and welcome to

Washington University in St. Louis Missouri to the first and only 2008 Vice

Presidential Debate between the Republican nominee, Governor Sarah Palin of

Alaska, and the Democratic nominee, Joe Biden of Delaware. Let’s welcome the

candidates.”

TINA FEY AS GOV. SARAH PALIN: “Can I call you, ‘Joe?'”

JASON SUDEIKIS AS SEN. JOE BIDEN: “Of course.”

FEY AS PALIN: “OK, ’cause I practiced a couple of zingers where I call you Joe.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “Now tonight’s discussion will cover a wide range of topics

including domestic and foreign policy matters. Each candidate will have 90

seconds to respond to a direct question and then an additional two minutes for

rebuttal and follow-up. As moderator, I will not ask any follow-up questions

beyond ‘do you agree?’ or ‘your response?’ so as not to appear biased for Barack

Obama in light of my new book (holding up book) ‘The Breakthrough: Politics of

Race in the Age of Obama,’ coming out on inauguration day and available for

pre-order on Amazon.com. And finally, we would like to remind our audience that

due to the historically low expectations for Governor Palin, were she simply to

do an adequate job tonight, and at no point cry, faint, run out of the building

or vomit you should consider the debate a tie. Alright, let’s begin. Senator

Biden, how, as Vice President would you work to shrink the gap of polarization

that has sprung up in Washington?

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: “Well, I would do what I have done my whole career, whether

it’s been dealing with violence against women or putting 100,000 police officers

in the streets. I would reach across the aisle. Like I’ve done with so many

members of the other party. Members like John McCain. Because look, I love

John McCain. He is one of my dearest friends. But at the same time, he’s also

dangerously unbalanced. I mean, let’s be frank, John McCain — and again, this

is a man I would take a bullet for — is bad at his job and mentally unstable.

As my mother would say, ‘God love him, but he’s a raging maniac…’ and a dear,

dear friend.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “Governor Palin. How will your administration deal with the

current financial crisis?”

FEY AS PALIN: “Well first of all, let me say how nice it is to meet Joe Biden.

And may I say, up close your hair plugs don’t look nearly as bad as everyone

says. You know, John McCain and I, we’re a couple of mavericks. And gosh

darnit, we’re gonna take that maverick energy right to Washington and we’re

gonna use it to fix this financial crisis and everything else that’s plaguin’

this great country of ours.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “How will you solve the financial crisis by being a maverick?”

FEY AS PALIN: “You know we’re gonna take every aspect of the crisis and look at

it and then we’re gonna ask ourselves, ‘what would a maverick do in this

situation?’ And then, you know, we’ll do that.” (SHE winks.)

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “Senator Biden, how would your administration address the

current financial crisis?”

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: “Barack Obama and I understand that we need to regulate

Wall Street. John McCain voted against Wall Street regulation 41 times. Let me

repeat that. 41 times! And again, this is a man I love. If I had to spend the

rest of my life on a desert island with only one other person it would be John

McCain — no doubt about it. I mean, you should see the way my face lights up

when he walks into a room. But the fact is, John McCain has voted with George

Bush ninety percent of the time, let me say that again: time.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “Governor Palin, would you like to respond to Senator Biden’s

comments about Senator McCain?”

FEY AS PALIN: “No thank you, but I would like to talk about bein’ an outsider.

You see while Senator Biden has been in Washington all these years I’ve been

with regular people. Hockey moms and Joe Six-packs I’d also like to give a

shout out to the third graders of Gladys Woods Elementary who were so helpful to

me in my debate prep. Also too, you see, I think a bit differently from an

insider. I don’t think it’s patriotic to pay more taxes. I don’t think it’s

patriotic to criticize these wars we got goin’ on. I do think it’s patriotic to

tell the government, ‘Hey get outta my way! Stop tryin’ to impose on my right

to shoot wolves from a helicopter.’ But a Washington insider like Joe Biden

probably disagrees.”

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: “You know I get a little tired of being told I’m an insider.

I come from Scranton, Pennsylvania and that’s as hardscrabble a place as you’re

gonna find. I’ll show you around some time and you’ll see. It’s a hellhole.

An absolute jerkwater of a town. You couldn’t stand to spend a weekend there.

It is just an awful, awful sad place filled with sad desperate people with no

ambition. Nobody, and I mean nobody, but me has ever come out of that place.

It’s a genetic cesspool. So don’t be telling me that I’m part of the Washington

elite because I come from the absolute worst place on Earth: Scranton,

Pennsylvania. And Wilmington, Delaware is not much better.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “Senator Palin. Address your position on global warming and

whether you think it’s man-made or not.”

FEY AS PALIN: “Gwen, we don’t know if this climate change hoozie-what’s-it is

man-made or if it’s just a natural part of the ‘End of Days.’ But I’m not gonna

talk about that I would like to talk about taxes, because with Barack Obama,

you’re gonna be paying higher taxes. But not with me and my fellow maverick.

We are not afraid to get maverick-y in there and ruffle feathers and not got to

allow that. And also, too, the great Ronald Reagan.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “The next question is for you, Senator Biden. Do you support,

as they do in Alaska, granting same-sex benefits to couples?”

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: “I do. In an Obama-Biden administration same-sex couples

would be guaranteed the same property rights, rights to insurance, and rights of

ownership as heterosexual couples. There will be no distinction. I repeat, no

distinction.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “So to clarify, do you support gay marriage, Senator Biden?”

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: “Absolutely not. But I do think they should be allowed to

visit one another in the hospital and in a lot of ways, that’s just as good, if

not better.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “Governor Palin. Would you extend same-sex rights to the

entire country?”

FEY AS PALIN: “You know I would be afraid of where that would lead. I believe

marriage is meant to be a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.

But don’t think I don’t tolerate gay people. Because I do. I tolerate them

with all my heart. And I know quite a few too. Not personally. But I know of

them. I’ve seen ‘Ellen.’ Oh, and there was this one girl on my college

basketball team. She wasn’t officially ‘a gay,’ but, you know, we were pretty

sure.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “Governor Palin, what is your position on Healthcare

regulation?”

FEY AS PALIN: “I’m gonna ignore that question and instead talk about Israel. I

love Israel so much. Bless its heart. There’s a special place for Israel in

heaven. And I know some people are going to say I’m only saying that to pander

to Florida voters, but from a very young age, my two greatest loves were always

Jews and Cuban food.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “I would now like to give each of you a chance to make a

closing statement.”

FEY AS PALIN: : (holding flute): Oh, are we not doing the talent portion?

(FEY AS PALIN plays flute, winks)

(LATIFAH AS IFILL stares)

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “Senator Biden, your closing statement?”

SUDEIKIS AS BIDEN: “My goal tonight was a simple one. To come up here and at no

point seem like a condescending, egomaniacal bully, and I’m gonna be honest, I

think I nailed it. Sure there were moments when I wanted to say, ‘Hey, this

lady is a dummy!’ But I didn’t. Because Joe Biden is better than that. I

repeat Joe Biden is better than that (pointing at FEY/PALIN). So to all of the

pundits who said I would seem cocky or arrogant. You dopes got schooled

Biden-style.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “Governor Palin?”

FEY AS PALIN: “I liked being here tonight answering these tough questions

without the filter of the mainstream gotcha media with their ‘follow-up

questions,’ ‘fact-checking’ or ‘incessant need to figure out what your words

mean and why ya put them in that order.’ I’m happy to be speaking directly to

the American people to let them know if you want an outsider who doesn’t like

politics as usual or pronouncin’ the “g” and the end of words she’s sayin’ I

think you know who to vote for. Oh, and for those Joe Six-packs out there

playing a drinking game at home — Maverick.”

LATIFAH AS IFILL: “Well, this concludes tonight’s debate. The book drops

November 4, and Live From New York…It’s Saturday Night!

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