Today, readers respond to previous columns . . .
Sherry: The column on friends turning into more reminded me of me. I married when I was 21 to a guy who was fun to be with, and showed strong character against spousal cheating and any type of abuse. A year later we were married.
A week later, I felt like someone flipped a switch. The man who was fun was now shallow and moody. Over the years, we had two daughters. His jobs changed over the years and the final career changed him into a liar and cheater. Working night shifts made it easy for him to cheat. I suspected the cheating for years but wasn’t sure until I heard him talking with the woman and confronted him.
I threw him out and we divorced. After 20 years, our life together was over. Little did I imagine that this divorce would be a blessing.
My neighbor and best friend, Will, stood by me during this dreadful time. After the divorce was final, he and I started emailing each other. Eventually I asked him out on a date. He was rather shy and not too sure of himself, but he accepted. Our friendship bloomed into love.
We were together 13 wonderful years before he was diagnosed with leukemia. He lost the battle last January. Every day I miss my best friend. Our short life together was so much stronger than I had with my first husband.
Marci wondered how she could help her formerly heavy and frumpy friend dress in a more flattering manner. I had some suggestions.
MARCI: I had several conversations with her, urging her to dress in a more feminine manner and wear makeup. She had a whole lot of objections — she isn’t at her target weight yet, clothes are expensive, she believes in dressing for comfort rather than fashion, make-up makes her feel uncomfortable, etc., etc., etc.
I countered by telling her how cute her figure is now that she has lost at least 30 pounds. I also pointed out that that’s how all the other women dress at the places we go and it would help her to fit in. She said she had noticed the “dress up” aspect there.
Last week, a group of us went out together. I was stunned when she showed up with a new hairstyle, and even had new blonde highlights. Sensational! She was wearing subtle makeup that made her eyes look really beautiful. She had a new pants outfit that fit her well, although the color was a bit too bland for her. (All beige with no accent color).
I commented on how nice she looked. She thanked me and announced laughingly to the group, “Marci thinks I should start wearing flared skirts here like she does, but I don’t think I dance well enough yet.” Nobody knew if she was serious or joking, so someone changed the topic to spring fashion.
Last night our group went out again. My friend looked not just cute and little, but really beautiful. She had even ditched the drab pants outfits. No skirts yet, but nice pants with a beautiful silk blouse in a bright print that looked great on her. Her whole demeanor has changed, and her self-confidence is really high. With the places we go, I’m sure she’ll meet nice fellow soon, because now she is beautiful on the inside and out.
Have you ever given a friend advice? Did they take it? Then what? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com.
And check out my new ebook, “Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front.” COPYRIGHT 2014 CREATORS.COM
