The scoreboard said Illinois 26, Minnesota 14.
All the other numbers screamed cruel, unusual punishment.
Illini football has gone gonzo, people. Enjoy it while it lasts, which might be for the rest of this already-special season and beyond.
The Illini are 6-1 — that means bowl-bound — after outgaining the Gophers 472-180, out-possessing them 40:04 to 19:56, winning the turnover battle 3-0 and pumping belief into fans that the Orange and Blue Express is well on its way to Indianapolis, the site of the Big Ten championship game, in December.
‘‘This game wasn’t won this week,’’ coach Bret Bielema said. ‘‘It was won in January, the way we prepare our guys.’’
Many questions about whom the real bully is in the Big Ten West have been answered during a three-game winning streak against Wisconsin, Iowa and Minnesota. Those teams were supposed to be the top West contenders because of their rugged styles, but the Illini are staging a hostile takeover led by a lights-out defense and supported by clutch quarterback Tommy DeVito and indefatigable running back Chase Brown, the leading rusher in the country.
On a Saturday to remember, Brown carried an unthinkable 41 times for 180 yards.
‘‘If there’s a better player in college football that has had a [bigger] effect on his own program,’’ Bielema said, ‘‘I’d like to know who it is.’’
And in an October beyond most fans’ wildest imaginations, the Illini have beaten the Badgers, Hawkeyes and Gophers for the first time in one season since 1983.
‘‘All the work we put in in the spring and summer,’’ Brown said, ‘‘this is just a representation of what we did and what we’re going to continue to do.’’
So many recent Illinois teams have been brutal to watch, unable to protect their overmatched quarterbacks, unable to stop the run, unable to pull off any sort of representation of major-college football. But this team attacks defenses, pressures opposing passers relentlessly, creates waves of momentum that are almost shocking.
Is this what a good team looks like? It must be.
Is it going to last? There’s no reason it can’t or shouldn’t.
A bye week comes at a good time, a chance to breathe before a five-game finish that begins Oct. 29 at Nebraska. Illinois hasn’t been 7-1 in a mighty long time, either, you know. The last time was 2001, and where did that team end up? In the Sugar Bowl on New Year’s Day.
Three-dot dash
We journalists don’t root for teams because it’s unprofessional. Have I mentioned I’m pulling for the Padres to win the World Series? Jed Hoyer’s old team plowed $300 million into Manny Machado, traded with the Cubs for Yu Darvish, traded for Juan Soto and Josh Bell, traded for Josh Hader — it’s called going for it, people. Shoving all-in. Not leaning on ‘‘market forces’’ or ‘‘biblical losses’’ as an excuse to lose.
A mega-market, money-making machine such as the Cubs should be in everything-but-the-kitchen-sink mode pretty much at all times. They should be embarrassed right now, especially if the Padres pull this off. . . .
The Reds have announced a multiyear partnership with BetMGM that includes a sportsbook at Great American Ball Park. Just as long as baseball keeps Pete Rose out of the Hall of Fame, right? . . .
Raise your hand if you had the Phillies in the National League Championship Series.
Oh, stop, you did not. . . .
Free advice to Bulls coach Billy Donovan: Play rookie Dalen Terry more.
Don’t mention it, bub. . . .
My poll for the preseason AP Top 25 in college basketball has been submitted. I have Gonzaga in the top spot, followed by Houston, North Carolina, Kentucky and Baylor. Indiana, at No. 8, is my highest Big Ten team, with Illinois next at No. 19. . . .
Atlantic-10 basketball coaches and media picked newcomer Loyola fourth, behind Dayton, Saint Louis and Virginia Commonwealth. If they’re right, this could be where the Ramblers disappear from national relevance for a while. . . .
By the way, Bielema’s best coaching move at Illinois so far: not letting Brown get tackled in the spring. Spare the workhorse’s legs when you can.
This you gotta see
Bills at Chiefs (3:25 p.m. Sunday, Ch. 2, Paramount+): As Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes trade superhero throws, ask yourselves how they would fare behind the Bears’ offensive line. Better yet, just enjoy the show.
‘‘The Cave of Adullam’’ (4 p.m. Sunday, ESPN): This is the story of Jason Wilson and the dojo he runs for young Black boys in Detroit, which prioritizes emotional stability above all else.
Bulls at Heat (6:30 p.m. Wednesday, NBCSCH): The season begins against the always-tough crew led by Jimmy Butler. Remember him? It turns out he’s still pretty good.
Only because you asked
From Gary, via email:
‘‘Ohio State or Michigan? The Wolverines look like the team to beat from what I’ve seen.’’
I don’t know what kind of TV you’re looking at. It’s the Buckeyes’ year in the Big Ten.
The bottom five
Nick Saban: Isn’t he supposed to know a thing or two about defense? Alabama scored 49 — not bad — but gave up 52 at Tennessee.
‘‘Best game ever’’: Come on, stop going overboard about Tennessee’s 52-49 victory on a long field goal at the final gun to snap a 15-game losing streak against a hated rival and tilt the college football world on its axis. OK, fine, it was pretty dang great.
P.J. Fleck: Minnesota’s coach really should’ve had to row a boat home after that miserable performance in Champaign.
Draymond Green: The Warriors just gave Jordan Poole and Andrew Wiggins so much money, he’s punching himself in the face.
Play-by-play announcers: Are they bound by law to feign disgust when a fan runs onto the field and interrupts the game? You know they secretly get a kick out of it, like everybody else.
