Dear Abby: Boyfriend sometimes falls into three-day stupor of heavy sleep and verbal abuse

DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced single mother who has finally met someone. His name is “Greg,” and we’ve been dating for two months. Greg is also divorced and financially stable. The one thing I really like is that he gets along well with my teenage son.

The problem is, every two or three weeks, Greg falls into a deep sleep that lasts three days. He’ll get up for a glass of water or to run to the store, but goes right back to sleep. It causes him to miss work, and oftentimes he becomes verbally abusive during these episodes.

Over Christmas, I saw him coherent for only 10 minutes the entire weekend. When he wasn’t half-asleep, he was calling me names, belittling my self-worth and telling me nobody but he would ever love me so I had “better stay.” On Christmas Eve, I was left alone and crying in a dark living room.

When these episodes aren’t happening, he’s attentive and charming. His daughter told me he’s been like this for years. I feel resentful about everything he’s put me through in such a short amount of time, but I’m afraid I will never find someone else after being single and lonely for so long. Can I get your advice on how to view his situation? — INCREDULOUS IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR INCREDULOUS: Greg’s behavior is not normal. Talk to him when he’s conscious. Ask if he remembers what happens to his personality during these extended periods when he’s “asleep.” Tell him his rants are hurtful and verbally abusive. Ask what he thinks causes these episodes. Could he be having an adverse reaction to a medication or some other substance he’s taking, because the person you’re encountering isn’t the Greg you love.

Greg may need to be examined physically and neurologically to ensure he doesn’t have a medical issue. However, if he refuses, draw the line NOW and end the relationship because it won’t improve without intervention. As lonely as you may be, PLEASE consider how lonely your future will be if you stay with him, and how damaging it will be to your impressionable son.

DEAR ABBY: How do I deal with a difficult co-worker? I’m kind, polite and courteous to this person, and they are short, rude and condescending in response. They are the type of person who wouldn’t care if I approached them and told them my feelings are hurt, and probably would make fun of me behind my back. How do I deal with this person? It makes me want to leave my job. — PEEVED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PEEVED: Does this co-worker treat everyone the way they treat you? If the answer is yes, then as a group document these incidents and inform your supervisor or employer the person is creating a hostile work environment. If you are the only employee getting the brunt of your co-worker’s hostility, you will have to speak to your employer yourself. And if nothing can be done to remedy the situation, you may have to seek employment elsewhere.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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