DEAR ABBY: My friend of eight years, “Lorna,” had a family get-together for her daughter, who was graduating from college. I was not invited, which surprised me, since our families were always close. Both of our sons were best friends. After telling me about their party plans, Lorna asked if I could make my special cake. I felt obliged, so I made it and dropped it off the morning of their party.
Because it was a special gathering, I didn’t want to put it in a cheap-looking plastic cake carrier. So I put it on the only other option I had: an ornate cut glass cake stand I had received as a gift years before. A few days after the party, Lorna and I met for breakfast and she told me she was sorry, but when her mother was washing the stand, it slipped out of her hands and she broke it. I was crushed because it had been given to me by a special friend.
I know accidents happen, but shouldn’t they have offered to replace it? Lorna has mentioned that her parents were struggling financially, but she and her husband seem well-off; they have a large home and drive expensive cars. If Lorna had offered, I probably wouldn’t have taken her up on it, but offering no compensation seemed odd to me. I no longer feel as close to her as before. Am I right to feel this way, or should I just let it go? — SWEET TURNED SOUR
DEAR SWEET: Lorna may have money, but she apparently lacks class. She should have offered to replace the cake stand her mother broke. Of course, you could ask her to replace it, but even if she did, it wouldn’t have the sentimental value of the one that was lost. In light of your long friendship, and now realizing Lorna has feet of clay, I suggest you let this go if you can. But in the future, if she asks again, think twice before putting on your apron.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 46 years. During the last five, he has procrastinated about doing our income taxes to the point that we have been charged penalties. He keeps saying he’ll work on it, but everything else is a bigger priority.
I gathered all the necessary documents and printed out a tax worksheet. My husband has his own small business, which complicates things. I hate this hanging over my head. I told him I won’t go on our planned camping trip if this isn’t done beforehand, and I intend to follow through. I can’t get him to give me a straight answer for why he keeps doing this. It’s ruining our otherwise great marriage. — MONEY WOES IN FLORIDA
DEAR MONEY WOES: Locate a certified public accountant who can take over this task. Then give your husband a deadline to file the taxes, and if he doesn’t meet it, turn the necessary information over to the CPA, who may be able to discover something advantageous.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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