The Washington Generals beat the Harlem Globetrotters three times in, by my nearest calculations, roughly 8.4 billion tries. The Michigan Wolverines have beaten the Ohio State Buckeyes at an even higher rate than that.
Who can really tell, though?
Say this about Ohio State 62, Michigan 39: Those of us who picked the Wolverines to stomp the Buckeyes in their massive rivalry tilt Saturday — and we are legion — are as smart as the gum stuck to the bottom of Ohio State coach Urban Meyer’s shoe.
Say this about that insane score, too: It’s the most points the Buckeyes have scored in 115 meetings against the Maize and Boo-Hoo. Oh, it’s also the most points Michigan has given up in regulation against anybody.
Wolverines coach Jim Harbaugh is 0-4 against Ohio State, for those of you scoring at home. It must feel more like 0-40.
On to the rest of the ‘‘Big 10’’ (where 10 actually means 10):
RELATED
• Illinois extends football coach Lovie Smith’s contract through 2023
• Northwestern holds off Illinois; Fitz rests starters for Ohio State
2. Alive and licking: Their chops, that is. There are reasons the Buckeyes might not lose to Michigan anytime soon. One, superstar quarterback Dwayne Haskins is only a sophomore. Two, the speed gap between the teams was startling. Three, the first two are enough.
3. The playoff: It’s Alabama in pole position, Clemson at No. 2, Notre Dame at No. 3 and Georgia at No. 4, with Oklahoma and Ohio State hoping to bust down the doors. If the Crimson Tide beat the Bulldogs in the Southeastern Conference title game, it’ll be a Sooners-Buckeyes popularity contest — assuming, that is, those contenders beat Texas and Northwestern, respectively, in their league title games. Which is a lot to assume.
4. Notre Dame 24, USC 17: Coach Brian Kelly has his best Irish team yet. In case you care.
5. Northwestern 24, Illinois 16: Coach Pat Fitzgerald maybe has his best team yet? Some would quibble with that, but they’re just Big Ten title-game party-poopers.
6. Heisman watch: Alabama quarterback Tua Tagovailoa is going to win the award. It’s as sure a thing as Nick Saban being ticked off after a 30-point victory. But Oklahoma quarterback Kyler Murray has a heck of a case. I’d tell you Murray is tops on my list, but the Heisman folks have strict rules against voters revealing their picks, and I’d never forsake that trust.
7. Texas A&M 74, LSU 72 (7 OT): I’m not saying it was the best game ever. I’m just saying find a replay of this game if you want to see the best game ever.
Here is fight in the end zone right after NCSU defeats #UNC. pic.twitter.com/OFvuanXEI4
— Ross Martin (@RossMartin_IC) November 24, 2018
8. Punches thrown: North Carolina and North Carolina State brawled in the end zone after State’s 34-28 overtime victory. Nothing beats the passion and pageantry of Rivalry Week in college football, but these teams should be ashamed of themselves. Don’t they know it’s basketball season?
9. Minnesota 37, Wisconsin 15: The Gophers swung Paul Bunyan’s Axe after this one, and it was glorious. It was their first victory in 15 years in what once was — and ought to be — a great rivalry series. ‘‘Great’’ only happens when both teams hold their own.
10. Greatest quote ever: ‘‘I wish the narrative on this team would change to them going 15-1 in the Big Ten over the last 16, I think. Is that correct? Winning eight out of nine, winning every game in the West. To me, that’s the narrative of this team.’’
That was Fitzgerald, pushing back on talk about Northwestern’s four losses this season and any sentiment that its presence in the Big Ten championship picture is a letdown.
