Quenneville’s toilet paper bunch in my penalty box

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My wife told me I was cranky this morning, and I couldn’t deny it, so I might as well roll with it.

What is it with Blackhawks Coach Joel Quenneville’s Hinsdale neighbors who think the perfect way to celebrate a Stanley Cup championship is to toilet paper his house?

Why don’t they toilet paper their own houses, if they think it’s such a great idea?

Yeah, that’s what they should do. Toilet paper their own houses, then send the Quennevilles a picture with a note to say they did it in the team’s honor to show what great fans they are.

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And as long as we’re at it, what about all the other ridiculous “TP-ing” traditions observed by high school sports teams, marching bands and others who think the best way to show their appreciation for MY children is to show up on MY lawn at midnight and fill MY trees and bushes with rolls of toilet paper?

Yes, that’s what this is really about. I’m still sore about all the times I had to clean up a toilet paper mess created by my kids’ classmates.

Most of you with children (at least those of you in the suburbs) have probably been through this. It starts with loud giggling on your front lawn at bedtime, and either you go and investigate or think nothing of it until you find the mess in the morning.

If you investigate, some sheepish teenagers beg forgiveness and ask permission to continue, because after all, it’s for the benefit of your children being officially accepted into the group.

When I was a kid, toilet papering someone’s home was a malicious prank reserved strictly for being intentionally mean to the victim, THE WAY GOD INTENDED, not as some silly rite of initiation or celebration.

Oh, sure. The kids always tell you they’re going to clean it up themselves. Never happens.

Case in point: the Quennevilles.

News stories about Monday night’s postgame celebration on the Quennevilles’ front lawn quoted one of the many adult neighbors who participated as saying they’d send their kids around in a couple of days to clean it up.

Reality check: a cleanup crew HIRED by the Quennevilles was busily cleaning up the massive mess Wednesday.

“He really got nailed,” said Andrew Fuller, a member of the family that owns Fuller’s car wash and hardware store in Hinsdale, which did the work for the third time in six years.

Fuller told me it has become a tradition in Hinsdale to TP the Quennevilles’ home after a Stanley Cup clincher.

“It’s just kind of an honor, I think,” said Fuller, who manages the hardware store.

Coach Q is apparently a much better sport about this honor than I would be.

I’d like to believe the first time it happened Quenneville let loose with one of those famous glares that can melt ice, you know, like the one on his face after Andrew Desjardins picked up that tripping penalty late in Game Six.

By all accounts, however, the coach and his wife, Elizabeth, are extremely tolerant of their toilet-paper wielding well wishers. Two years ago, Quenneville was seen signing autographs amid the clutter.

Fuller said the cleanup crew tried to get a head start on the work Tuesday, but that Mrs. Quenneville, who goes by “Boo,” told them to hold off an extra day.

“They told us they were going to enjoy this one a little longer,” Fuller said.

Instead, the cleanup team picked up only the toilet paper on the ground: enough to fill two pickup truckloads.

Adam Rogowin, the Blackhawks’ senior director of public relations, confirmed Quenneville has no problem with how his neighbors show their appreciation.

To the contrary, “he told me the smile on his face gets larger each time he sees it,” Rogowin said.

OK, so maybe I should wipe away my toilet paper grudge. Tomorrow.

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