Almost no one ridicules or shames someone who gets help learning to play 88 keys on a piano.
Every day, however, stigma stops countless among us from reaching out for mental health help — even though our brains include 86 billion neurons with as many as 100 trillion connections enabled by more than 100 different chemicals.
The human mind is extraordinarily complex. Despite this complexity, those of us who struggle with mental health challenges are too often told to “man up,” “get over it,” “pray it away” or just to “let it go.” We would if we could. Getting help is a way to learn how.
During my worst struggles with suicide ideation in high school, I didn’t know that my actions affected my brain’s ability to release feel-good chemicals like endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine that provide me with moments of contentment and enjoyment. I didn’t know that working on my thought processes — including by stopping negative self-talk and taking time each day to be grateful for what is good around me — would affect how I thought about life’s new encounters. I didn’t know I needed stress relief techniques to get myself out of fight-flight-freeze mode so I could solve problems rather than simply react in ways that were not always helpful.
I also feared mental health professionals who have expertise in brain chemistry, impulse control techniques and therapies to adjust thought patterns. I thought getting help meant I was weak or a failure. My high school years were more than 40 years ago. However, these stigmas remain prevalent as I teach Teen Mental Health First Aid and travel Illinois speaking to high school and middle school students for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Sometimes the stigmas that prevent mental health care aren’t from the teens and kids themselves, but from parents, caregivers and others in the broader community. To these adults, I ask you to consider how many of the world’s greatest athletes, academics and artists have made it a point to never learn from the best around them. Few. If any. It is also important to know that many of the techniques used to improve mental health also improve academic, work, athletic and creative performance.
Learning mental health skills, self-care can help
With May being Mental Health Awareness Month, I would love to eliminate the stigmas around getting help with mental health challenges. I know, however, that change takes time.
For those who are unwilling to get help from others, or think they are unable because of financial or logistical stresses, know that there are actions you can take to help yourself. Roughly 25% of Americans will have a diagnosable mental health condition during their lifetime. Many live in their suffering. Others find self-care techniques that make a big difference.
Sleep matters. Exercise helps release endorphins and helps de-stress. Spending time with people and pets we care about releases oxytocin that we don’t get from texting. Nature is a healing source for many. Techniques to get out of fight-flight-freeze mode include deep breathing, yoga, meditation, mindfulness and prayer focused on others, all of which can be learned from online videos and a multitude of apps. The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California Berkeley is one of many places to learn about the impact that awe, altruism, gratitude, social connection, purpose and hope have in improving our mental health.
Learning new skills may not prevent awful experiences from debilitating us for periods of time. Losses, financial burdens, health battles and broken relationships still hurt. But having mental health skills helps us survive through our worst moments, process our struggles and rebuild our best lives.
These skills help our 86 billion neurons connect in the healthiest ways. They help us find moments in our day when our brain chemistry supports feeling good. They help us avoid making the mistakes that many of us make when stuck in instinctive stress responses.
Anyone able to move can make sounds on a piano’s 88 keys. Playing it well enough that we and others enjoy the sound takes knowledge and practice. The same is true for our brains.
Michael Bushman is a board member of the Illinois Chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
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